none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
