i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
