i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
