the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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