Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Maybe he injected his testicle?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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