Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm sobbing to NWA
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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