Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
