She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
