No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Found your dick twin last night
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
