I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
