I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
