We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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