And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
