yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
