Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
