I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
