did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
