Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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