When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
