I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
