Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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