you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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