I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
