Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Randomize
