TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
