I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
