Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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