I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I think my moral compass just broke
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
