We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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