We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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