Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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