I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
