I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
