Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
