i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
