Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
