Dude my mom stole all your condoms
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
