can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
