absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
In America we eat man semen.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
