The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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