why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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