oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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