I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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