Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
