please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
