the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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