yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
