omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
