i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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