On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
