I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
