i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize