Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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