I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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