Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Randomize
