I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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