I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
