do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
