her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
